Friday, May 21, 2010

NEWSense (23/5/2010)

This edition of NEWSense is a complete oligopoly of Cricket, Business and Technology. This ain't breaking news its making news.

The Gate Job

It was all brotherly love and nostalgia this weekend in Silicon Valley, when good old Stevo teamed up with his old pal Bill to entertain the netizens in a series of comic strips. In order to commemorate their successful 30 year filching finishing in Silicon Valley, the duo announced that they are coming up with a new collaborative product called iTrouser - complete with iZip and iPockets. While Apple came up with the name and the design, Microsoft provided the tailors

This revolutionary, groundbreaking, game changing, innovative, magical (the usual Jobsian adjectives) will be available for sale this fall. Initially, this garb has been made compulsory for all Apple employees as it is said to have a new feature which sends out an alarm whenever a german beer addicted Tom, Dick or Gray misplaces his future. TASMAC has been awarded the retail rights of this product in India due to umm., you know, the obvious - a bit of both Microsoft & Apple in it's name - DOS & MAC. Both averred that this pant's accessories will not have any third party support like Viking / Jockey- only Apple's iShorts is allowed.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

MBA - Mostly a Big Ass

Disclaimer: This is my first attempt in writing a fictional story. So this post is prone to lots of slips (read misplaced commas, imperfect words, dumb writing style etc..,). I promise to improve as time goes by. Do welcome all your suggestions except "Stop writing".

Day: 2/12/20xx
Time: 9:00 am
Location: None of your business
The leitmotif from that terminator movie was buzzing inside my ears. My olfactory cells were picking up the odor of a weird concoction - sweat, blood and adrenaline all at once. I was walking in a gingerly fashion towards the building with my mind eye following me from my back. I was focused and keen as ever. I had trained myself to be that way in the past few months. I was waiting, like a tiger for its prey, ready to pounce and gorge on the slightest notice. The time for the hunt had arrived and the quarry was in sight. December the 2nd was the day - today.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Realty behind Women

Whenever some friend of mine tells me that he saw a homely figure, I cringe. Definitely, this homely girl term has to be one of the worst solecisms in Indian youth parlance; simply because it means plain and unattractive. Traditional girl would be more apt. Didactics apart, last night one of my distant relatives was babbling on the phone about how her daughter-in-law was so homely. On hearing this, I started dabbling with the words - home and girl - which lead me to this post. Having had some pretty decent experience in both these domains, I was soon catching up with my train of thoughts, halting appropriately to write down whatever popped up.

After all, finding the right house is like finding the right partner. Agree?  In most cases it is. So stay with me as I try to find the Realty behind Women

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Justin Bieber Trending mystery demystified

If you had not been working for the US govt on some top secret project in Area 51, you should have pretty much known about this gadfly which goes by the name Justin Bieber. He seems to be an eternal unfixable bug in twitter's "now trending" feature. Intrigued, I got into some digging on a weary Sunday afternoon, to answer the question in every netizen's mind "What makes Justin Bieber tick?". And guess what! Eureka!!

Friday, May 7, 2010

NEWSense (9/5/2010)

I was thinking long and hard. "Why are you starting this post with such a boring line?" you may inquire. So I refrain from thinking long and hard and instead move on. I have decided the only way to periodically update my posts is well hmmm., have a periodic series of posts presented in a... Never mind. The creative part of my brain is on an  indefinite strike. When you have just seen an emotional, lachrymose newsreel in an overwhelmingly Vikraman-ish Indian TV channel, you can have that sort of hangover you know. For the uninitiated, Vikraman is a highly skilled auteur in the Tamil cine industry capable of making even hardened souls like Auto Sankar and Ted Bundy cry Mummy!, with his revolutionary LaaLaa-bies - a contemporary Bollywood equivalent would be Karan Johar.

So for people bored of Burkha Dutt, Arnab Please-Go-Swami and the numerous lame ass anchors, I present  NEWSense - a fortnightly news update presented through Santa's highly tainted, prejudiced, cynical, fatuous, < insert GRE word 1>, < insert GRE word 2>  perspective.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The "Not Blogging For Long" ITCH

Its been a while since I posted anything on my blog. I usually pen down or rather type down my random whimsical thoughts and save them as drafts to be polished, refined and if passed muster to be published. Mostly very few reach the final stage. This one barely did. Why this beating around the bush? Lets come to the point.

See, my friends tell that I am a walking Wikipedia (pardon the bragging). Not that I am. Just that I am a fast googler. I am master of only one trade i.e the trade of being the jack of all trades. So I thought "Why not spread the wisdom and make the world a better place?". Ok! That statement was an overkill. Never mind. So here I present to the wannabes a compendium of tips, tricks and shortcuts, to be imbibed into any idiosyncratic group. Any except one, which I will mention towards the end.