Saturday, May 15, 2010

MBA - Mostly a Big Ass

Disclaimer: This is my first attempt in writing a fictional story. So this post is prone to lots of slips (read misplaced commas, imperfect words, dumb writing style etc..,). I promise to improve as time goes by. Do welcome all your suggestions except "Stop writing".

Day: 2/12/20xx
Time: 9:00 am
Location: None of your business
The leitmotif from that terminator movie was buzzing inside my ears. My olfactory cells were picking up the odor of a weird concoction - sweat, blood and adrenaline all at once. I was walking in a gingerly fashion towards the building with my mind eye following me from my back. I was focused and keen as ever. I had trained myself to be that way in the past few months. I was waiting, like a tiger for its prey, ready to pounce and gorge on the slightest notice. The time for the hunt had arrived and the quarry was in sight. December the 2nd was the day - today.

I looked sideways. The path was strewn with my enemies whetting their own weaponry. Numbers were floating around in the air, formulas and equations were being test fired, prayers were being offered to the Gods with the hope that they would be on their side in this Mahabhartha Yuth. Little did they know that though He may choose sides He only serves as a chauffeur not as your main artillery piece. The armored divisions and the reserve forces have to be summoned by your own will and might.

Despite my mind urging me to stay the course, I wanted to size up my opponents - these mortals of lesser souls (You need that attitude if you are here to win). As the great Sun Tzu said,  "Any battle is won before it is even fought". Not many read Sun Tzu nor do they intuitively understand what he desired to say. So it is essential as a rule of thumb to sort out the mules from the thoroughbreds, those who were standing between me and my destiny; those who dreamed their own dreams; those who were mindful to summon their own legions. 

My disciplined mind got curious.

'Know who they are?', it asked.


'They are the time traveling machines unleashed by skynet', it whispered.

'Skynet?'. I drew a blank.

'Yeah! Skynet? Terminator? Arnold? Cameron? Hello'

'Oh.. Not my fault. You were the one who never let me watch any movies for the past 6 months. I see only numbers, formulas and word lists. Remember? We are at war'

'Yes! War. A unique war. A war fought with an unknown enemy, an evil force denying you a better future. Take a look around! Among this crowd is a terminator hiding inside a completely innocuous body. He is looking for you, just as  you are for him. Remember John Connor..', it was now addressing me as the legendary hotshot, ' ..kill or be killed. Failure is not an option'

Perfect. My mind is trying to spruce me up by drawing parallels between my MBA entrance exam and a historic science fictional war.  A losing side, an overwhelming enemy, an improbable victory - what else do you need to be a brave knight?

'But?' I protested.

It questioned petulantly, 'But what?'

'Should harboring the same dreams as mine make them my enemies? How do I even know that I am indeed the hero of this story? Why can't I be one of those machines unleashed by skynet? See! there is not even a damsel in distress'

'--------'. No reply

'Anybody there?' I yelled repeatedly until my echos drowned in a valley of silence. There was no answer. My mind has done what it does best; fled the battle exactly when it knew it was losing. Great disciple of Sung Tzu it is.

And then it happened. A breeze of jasmine essence wafted through the air and into my nose and filled my heart and soul with its fragrance. Impossible. I had trained my mind to sniff only on brain sweat. Jasmine? Out of question. But there she was - an angel from heaven - punching a hole through every male heart in that expanse, her glistening eyes evoking memories of an assault rifle. I use this highly cliched metaphor because I cant afford to use my mental reserves to toil on such trivialities and also indeed she was exactly what I described - an angel from heaven. By eyeballing her I could tell she fell in the 22-26 category, which means that Christmas has arrived early by 23 days. But angel was highly distressed about something. She was very nervous and was  nagging her friends  persistently about something. Everyone seemed helpless to solve her problem. Instinctively, I tuned my radar(read ear) in her direction for better reception( Ditch that concentration crap)

' What's the heron's formula? Why the hell no one seems to know the answer? '

Ha! Damsel in distress. My moment and I , this knight in shining armour, knew the answer.

'Told you. You are John Connor and the only weapon you need is self-belief ', my mind completely startled me with that repartee.

But it was making sense. Without a question, I nodded in approval. The machines must be crushed; the aliens and time travelers must be corralled and guillotined. They deserved a traitor's death. With a belligerent mood, I started moving towards her - the direction of my future.

Day: 2/12/20xy
Time: 10.00 am
Location: Hell

The requiem from that Forrest Gump movie was buzzing inside my ears. My olfactory cells were picking up the odor of a weird concoction - chalk, paper, adrenaline, all at once. I was walking in a gingerly motion towards the building with my mind eye following me from my back. I was dull and sullen as ever. I was rendered thus by the incessant lectures and the never ending powerpoint presentations in the last few months. The professor was waiting, like a tiger for its prey, ready to pounce and gorge on the slightest notice. The time for his hunt had arrived and I was the quarry. December the 2nd was the day - today.

I was supposed to be giving my presentation on Integrated Treasury and Risk Management. As usual I had overslept and was late to class. Add to that, a half complete presentation and a notorious professor, everything bespoke an epic failure. I tried to retrieve atleast part of my half-baked work from my brain so that I could at least bake the other half impromptu.

'Held-to maturity...umm...Investment fluctuation reserve...Call*t...'

'Come on! Its getting late', I hurried.

'Ok! Its official', it declared.

'What is?'

'You are really really screwed today'. Sounded as official as that the sun rises in the east.

'You know what? This whole MBA thing is highly overrated along with that terminator crap you fed me a year ago'

'........'. Sun Tzu's disciple had disappeared again.

Date: 2/12/20xx
Time: 9:30 am
Location: Heaven

Me:    'Actually, the heron's formula for calculating the area of a triangle is as follows..'

Angel:   'Thanks Baiyaa (brother). Even my boyfriend over there dint know the answer'

I am allergic to jasmines since that day.

P.S: Blog title credit goes to @vivekg86. Shastangaa namaskaaram & thanks :)


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  2. Now you are talking.. If you do improve.. You are gonna possess a potent combination.. Jasmines, Laughter, Boyfriends.. If only there were a way to ban them heh?


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