MY Bucket List

Have you seen the movie "The Bucket List"? Two terminally ill old men decide to do things they had always wanted to do before they die. Decent movie, but critically panned by reviewers. Ever since watching that movie some years ago, I decided to put a list of my own too. The list has grown like bacteria in a culture medium over these years. But for the sake of sanity I have decided to yank most of them and present only the essential, quirky ones.



1) Experience zero gravity - I wud be happy if it was a paid trip(assuming I get filthy rich) in some Russian space ship but I would settle for some wind tunnel in some weird science lab. I read somewhere that MIT has a lab for testing zero gravity. So not impossible. All I need to do is somehow become a teaching faculty in MIT and befriend the lab assistant by buying him some free pretzels and doughnuts - a cinch. Oh btw morons, not Madras Institute of Technology. Those bozos cant even afford a decent oscilloscope in their labs. Grapevine says that they are still using computing machines run by vacuum tubes.

2) Dancing with the penguins in Bird island, Antarctica. Do you know that less people have been to this place than to Mt.Everest? Its the paradise of emperor and macaroni penguins. I want to lose myself in a sea of chirping and tweeting(not the #, @ thing) indifferent gentle creatures far far away from the madding crowd. William Henry Davies would understand that.

3) Sky dive some day.  As much as I want to enjoy this crazy, no-brainer stunt, I doubt that I would be ever able to jump out of a 2 m wall, let alone from a plane. Blame it on acrophobia.

4) Touch, see and hear Mel Gibson and Kamal Hassan in person. As gay as it may sound, I will stick with this one.

5)  Watch the great migration at the Serengeti in Tanzania. This annual event is one of the most spectacular events on the face of the earth, when millions (hundreds of millions two centuries back) of wild animals migrate towards greener pasture lands. This migration may have inspired man to move along during his early days in Africa and may have even helped him escape the dark continent. Another doable one if I can afford a two way ticket plus expenses to Africa. Travel sites recommend that we should do it with our better half by our sides. Aargh!! Extra baggage. I would feed one half of myself to the lions.


6) Go scuba diving with dolphins in some remote tropical island. This should feature pretty much in the list of anyone who thinks dolphins are the cutest living creatures.

7) Hike the Appalachian trials and The Himalayas. This is one thing that I can get done for sure, IF, (a big "if" that is. Assume the font size to be in the order of exponentials) I had the physical and mental wherewithal to survive the hardships of the woods for six months. Yes! you read it right. The Appalachian trial takes six months. The trial runs through the entire Atlantic coast of the US criss crossing through some of the holiest places of the American Independence war. Now you know why I sold myself to this task :)

8) Take a cross country tour of Europe covering all historic places of world war II. It includes steering a tank in Prokhorovka, visiting Stalingrad(now Volvograd) and handling a landing craft in Normandy. This task is Prio1. I would even rob a bank to get this done.As if...

9) Get a pilot's license. Ok!Ok! People I can hear you cursing me. I know I cant even drive a geared 2 wheeler properly. Also I almost killed the road inspector, trying to get my car license. I threatened to stop the car only if he granted me one and he obliged in kind or fear, whatever. But speaking about flying, things change drastically when you are up in the air. No roads to restrict your unbridled navigation plans, no traffic, no honking, no signals, no living-off-signals (couldn't find a better word) beggars and best of all, no traffic police. See, I am an optimist. F-22 raptor it is. 

10)Travel in a submarine to a shipwreck. Yeah I saw titanic - hundred times.

Having read the list, you may harbor a doubt that somehow that you have been  accidentally redirected to some billionaire's travel itinerary. But let me tell you what the world's greatest philosopher a.k.a. Joseph Vijay Chandrasekar( I love to hate him) said in one of his punch dialogues in one of his trash movies,

"If you seriously want something, then the whole world will help you get that thing, somehow"

Oh wait. It wasn't Vijay. Never mind. The point is that the whole world esp., you friends (facebook, twitter, foursquare, second life and also first life) must somehow help me satisfy my selfish fantasies by donating your hard earned money to this noble cause. In return, you will always have my unfailing trust and flattery friendship for the rest of your boring lives in this mortal world. I accept travelers' cheques, DDs, visa card, master card and even ration card. And do remember!! Helping me fulfill my bucket list should be Prio1 in your bucket list.