Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Paiyaa? Poda Goyaa!!

In a line: After seeing this movie you would think that even vijay's movies are better.

The only reason I made up my mind to watch this movie was Karthik and Balaji theatre ( and also the constant nagging of Ritchie and Commanderji of course) and what a huge disappointment? Another pathetic movie in which the talented Karthik has wasted his time on. Why did he chose to act in such a besotted movie? So  besotted you would think that Villu and Aegan were far better. The cost of watching this movie are:

1) Price of the ticket - 100 in bangalore, 50 elsewhere
2) Peace of mind
3) Loss of 3/4 valuable hours and
4) Bad aftertaste

Dumbest script of Tamil cinema yet:
Such a script could have been written only by a guy with very low IQ levels - predictable, cliched and downright boring - the lowest of the slimiest drivel from Tamil cinema. The only way they can show the feelings of the boy for the girl are through slow motions. They revert to slow motion sequences almost every time the hero sees the girl .i.e approximately once every 5 mins or roughly 30 for the whole movie. If all the SM sequences were to run at normal speeds then the movie would have been only 1 1/2 hours long. It requires chutzpah on behalf of Lingusamy to put a placard at the end of the movie - "A film by Lingusamy" - claiming full credit or rather responsibility for the movie fiasco.

As towards the end of the movie karthik tells Tamanna "Yaarum vara maatanga" (no will come) in reference to the villians, you cant help but think "Yeah!! you at least got that part right mate. No will ever come for such a movie". As usual the hero sees the girl and sees her again and again and again and again, all accidentally, in seven f*cking million people strong bangalore within the first five minutes of the movie. The probability of such a thing happening is equivalent to Sankar making a low budget, good script film -NIL. Trust me on this issue - I have sought out girls before and all I ended up finding was Deepika Padukone in a BSNL  hoarding.

Horrible casting and characters:
Its good to have the characters to a minimum - clears away clutter and hinges the attention on the plot and the characters. Lingusamy has taken such a route with disastrous results. Road that should have not been taken? was how Robert Frost would have named his poem if he happened to see this movie. Minimal casts require high skills and quality acting from the actors' part. Doll faces just wont do. Emphasis should be on acting skills rather than pulchritude. Remember Speed and Sandra bullock? SB dint have the prettiest face but she made a lasting impression with her portrayal of a hijacked victim. But, you should have masochistic fantasies to endure tamanna's efforts to act in this movie- purely shitty acting.

The villians are straight from the "The wikipedia article of  stereotyped Kollywood Villians" - all chicken grill munching, long haired, neanderthal styled, dark skinned, 6 foot tall, 100 kg weighing bozos driving hitherto thitherto in their rubber burning Qualis' & Sumos, swearing at top decibel levels - too bad Mr.Lingu!! too bad :(

I always wanted to be a billionaire sipping my champagne in a chalet in the Alps. But after watching this movie I want to get rich very badly. Rich so that I can pay Lingusamy every month and he doesn't go out trying to make movies. Who knows? Maybe I can get a Nobel peace prize for that :)

Redeeming factors:

Though the movie was like cyanide, there were also some redeeming factors during my 3 hour sojourn at the theatre, though nothing had none so ever to do with Lingusamy.

* The interval - What a relief? I have never had so much pleasure seeing the letters I,N,T,E,R,M,I,S,S,I,O,N - the best part of my entire time spent wasted in the theatre

* The crowd - It was Sunday and as usual most of the Tamil bachelor stags of Bangalore thronged Balaji theatre for a nice time. We managed to evoke quite some laughs among the crowds with our wisecracks and that got as going. Most of us were in splits due to the movie (of course unintentionally) or a droll comment from the crowd.

* The location - Some of the songs were shot very close to our house and we had fun pointing and debating about the locations and about how the shot would have looked better if the view panned out from our balcony or bathroom window  :)

* Cant beat the sleep - Mr.Prathap Reddy of apollo hospitals has signed a MOU with the producer Mr.Dhayanidhi Alagiri, grandson of the TN cheap chief minister, to include this movie as part of their treatment for insomniac patients. John Hopkins Medical University has recently  published a research article which proves that Paiyaa is better than many sedatives in putting patients to sleep faster and in many cases permanently(Proof: I slept for half hour during the movie despite sleeping for 12 hrs the previous night). Side effects may include nightmares for the rest of your life.

Enough said!! This horribly (mis)directed movie should not be watched even if they paid you to do so. One more movie like this and Karthik would have wiped out all the credits he earned through "Paruthiveeran". Is your middle finger aching? If not pull it out and show it to Mr. Lingusamy with abandon.

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