Om Sree sex scandal aaya namaha!! selling hopes aaya namahaa!!!- Part I

Disclaimer: Has enough truth which can hurt and question ( if you are open enough ). So please skip this post if you think Vishnu will rescue the souls of the world as Kalki or that Christ is acting in the next Judgement Day movie or if Prophet Muhamad was a ...(please fill in the blanks since Salman Rushdie may get a "fatwa" but later he will get Padma Lakshmi. But I can't take a similar risk)

Though I have enough  thoughts, a wide gamut from religion to politics, which when spilled out in its entirety can send every man in this planet on a wild frenzy for my blood, I tend to reserve my opinions and post only those articles that have passed an entire mental checklist I have created to better elongate my breathing days in this planet. Though I am about to digress from what I am intending to say, please hold on from some more lines or better "goto ESCAPE;".


* Don't be preachy-preachy  and Einsteiny (I have scraped posts ranging from evolution and Alzheimers to  terrorism for they were overflowing with xcessive VijayKanthiness ). Doing so, defeats the main purpose of this blog which is to project a me-too-cool machi image and show off a few GRE words I mugged know.

*Don't write anything when you feel angry or sad or even worse when you feel smart.

*Always be sure to add "*"s and "**"s to escape future libel suits.

*Run a complete word check for adult and cuss words ('*'s to the rescue again).

*Finally!! Never write, when you are day-dreaming about Shriya Saran.

ESCAPE:
But some recent events in the murky world of religions, mutts and priests, has prompted me, even at the cost of breaking some of sacred blogging rules of engagement, to write this post which if had been posted a week back, would have incurred a kamikaze style attack on me by the religious Talibans. 

As usual I will start off with some questions. Just try answering these questions as honestly as possible yourself one by one. I am trying as well, parallelly along with you and will give my account at the end.

Pre-Requisites:
* Your brain should weigh a normal 1.5 kgs
* Your IQ should be above 90

Q1) Why do you believe in the god you already worship? In short why is it Vishnu/Buddha and not Christ/Allah? ( Don't bullshit me ( and yourself) with cliched stuff like "All god is one for me" kind of filmy lines. If you are a christian you don't go and worship in a temple or a mosque. You prefer the confines of your church and the Sunday hymns and vice versa *)

Q2) If He is the all knowing God why didn't He(I will try capitalising the 'h' as much as possible) tell us about the galaxies and the numerous milkyways and the extinct dinosaurs and the future computers? Or simply put, why God only discussed only about the post-neolithic and pre-renaissance periods and most importantly why Krishna dint talk about Israel/ Palestine and  why Jesus dint talk about Ganges or Indus?

Q3)Why is it always a He? Why not a She?(ok Hindus, I know you have Parvathi, Saraswathi , Lakshmi and that mythological misfits of numerous Ammans and Kalis and oh-forgot Sakthi, but we are talking about 5/6 th of the  world population here.so Sssh! and the only person who amman made rich was Ramanarayanan)


My grey cells can think of a gazillion questions right now, but that would simply put you to sleep and so once again defeat the purpose. So on we go to the answers my puny little brain has come up with after some 20 years of thinking along the similar lines. 

A1) I, Santa(an engineer) believed (notice the past tense ) Rama and Murugan were The Gods because I was told so from a very early age by Rajeshwari&Nainar(my parents - government employees) who were told so by Govindan,Arumugam,Muthulakshmi and Suppamma( their parents-farmers) who were told so by..  lets roll back by a 3000 years, some Mr.Gaga and Ms.Gugu (ancestors- hunters and gatherers ) who thought the sun revolved around the earth and the earth was flat. Ok cool!! Now thats what I call a definitive proof of existence of Mr.Murugan because we are supposed to respect and believe our all knowing elders.
I have always thought what if i was born in some African tribe in Massai Marra or a Anglo-Saxon family in Germania? Then would I be worshiping a black-igneous rock called Jo-Jo under Mt.Kilimanjaro or some Aryan god in Sistine chapel my parents call Jesus. Is, who the only true God is, more a game of probability rather than fact? We humans always have a fond memory of our carefree childhood and anything attached to those happy days. So its difficult for us to backtrack on what we believed and did religiously as kids. No wonder our childhood hometown is the best place on earth for most of us. 

A2) I can't blame God for not telling us about how he created dinosaurs because he dint. Also Krishna never ventured beyond the Indus and Jesus never talked about China, which in itself limits their knowledge to Indian and middle east geographies respectively- so much for the all knowing God. One argument I hear is God doesn't talk about those who don't believe in him. Seriously? Then he must have one hell of an ego with acts more fitting of a 10 year kid who doesn't talk to the guy who expelled him from the local cricket team.

A3) Why is it always a 'He'? Simple. I found the answer to this question during the "games" class of my middle school. There were two guys who were the captains of the rival cricket teams. These guys called all the shots. They chose the teams, called the toss, opened the batting, bowled half the overs and fought bitterly over their dismissals. It was always about THEM. So when some wise men decided to answer the universe's unsolved puzzles by creating GOD they naturally tended to make GOD HIM and not HER. But I am proud of the foresight of the Indian God-Creators. Take a look at our cinemas - the presence of a heroine is compulsory, multi-hero movies tend to fare better,  more fights maketh a hero super macho and finally some routine song and dance moves is as essential as food,air and water. Keeping in touch with the consumer's veins our ancestors designed a perfect system with many heros (Shiva, Vishnu, Brahma) and their Jodis ( Parvathi, Lakshmi and Saraswathi), cast some poor old Asuraas as villians and finally made Shiva dance to some humming tunes with a peculiar instrument. Hats off- the perfect masala movie!! No wonder, 30% of silicon valley engineers are Indians.

Since this post has grown a bit too long, I have decided to split it into two or more(hehe, dont be scared). The next section will cover the rapid proliferation of the so-called GodMen  like Nithyanandha, Premanandha, BinLaden, Paedophilic bishops etc.,(on why and how they thrive)and their harebrained SishyaKodis. I swear the next post wont be didactic and will be a fun read. Since this post is a bit prophetic, I invite you to vent your anger on, though I prefer open-minded discussions with, me in the comments section. No comments will be deleted (unless very morally degrading or excessive cuss words). Trust me when I say I will be the happiest Homo (who coined the word homo for a species that propagates by being hetero?-yeah I am thinking about Shriya ;-)) sapien on earth if you theists can convince me.

* - there are of course exceptions